


In Carcere

by Seeroftodayandtomorrow



Category: Glee
Genre: Chastity Device, Discussion of Cheating, Light Dom/sub, M/M, post 4.04
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2018-08-13 07:09:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7967296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Seeroftodayandtomorrow/pseuds/Seeroftodayandtomorrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a prompt on the Glee prompt meme: Blaine locks himself in chastity so he can't cheat on Kurt again</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is for a prompt on the Glee prompt meme I'm too lazy to look up now. I saw it some time ago and really wanted someone to write something for it, but no one did. So now I did it.  
> I'm not sure yet if this is going to remain a one-shot or if I will turn it into a multi-chapter story. It depends mostly on life and my trust in my ability to write this the way I want it to be. But if you have any preferences one way or the other, let me know :)  
> If you have questions, you can ask here or on tumblr. I love to hear from you!

Kurt turns the envelope in his hands a few times. It feels heavy, and something small and hard slides around the envelope as he moves it.

The letter is from Blaine, which is...unusual. They've texted some and talked a little since Thanksgiving, but things are still awkward. Kurt still feels a flash of pain whenever he thinks of Blaine, of what he has done—but he also feels something like hope about where they might go from here. He's glad he called Blaine that day. It was the best piece of advice Isabelle has ever given him.

And now, a letter. With something in it. His curiosity wins, and he opens the envelope and fishes out whatever it is that is in there before it falls out and disappears in a crack in a floorboard or something.

It's a key. A very small, single key without a ring or any indication what it might unlock. He digs inside the envelope for a letter, for some kind of explanation.

The only thing left in the envelope is a small piece of paper with Blaine's handwriting on it.

_This is the only key._

And he still doesn't know more than before.

He's torn between being annoyed and intrigued. He's not sure they're in a place again in their relationship where there's room for mysteries, but he can't deny he's curious, and so he gets out his phone and types a quick “ _Explain_ ” and sends it to Blaine. Maybe that's all it's intended to be, a conversation starter; he just hopes he won't get back something cheesy like “It's the key to my heart.” They're definitely not there yet, if they'll ever be. He's kind of made a resolution that if they ever get back together (and that doesn't mean they will), they'll have to take all the cheesiness and vows of love and eternity and replace them with honesty and communication.

What he gets back is a dick pic.

He assumes it's Blaine's dick, though there's not much of actual dick to be seen behind the bars of...something.

What is that? It looks like a cage, or something, made of plastic he assumes, though it's made up to look like metal. The space between the bars is wide enough to fit a finger in, maybe. It looks evil. It looks like the bearer might be able to pee and clean up with some practice, but do nothing more with his cock. Masturbate, maybe, with a lot of time and effort and if he doesn't mind the pain when his cock tries to get hard within that...thing.

Kurt's own cock twitches at the sight, though. He can't deny it looks appealing, the ring around the balls lifting them up for his viewing pleasure, the cock constrained.

He looks away. He won't get an erection from this, although he suddenly values his ability to get one more than just a moment before.

With trembling fingers, he calls Blaine.

* * *

 

“It's a cock cage,” Blaine says by way of hello. He hasn't been able to think of much else since he locked himself in two days ago so he could snail-mail the key to Kurt. He's constantly aware of the thing, though he thinks that today there might have been one or two moments he was actually able to focus on the lesson or whatever he was talking about with Sam or Tina.

He just hopes it works.

The worst thing is that he's weirdly turned on the whole time. Somehow, strangely, he likes the thought that no one can touch his cock, not even himself, except Kurt.

He can almost hear Kurt's eye roll.

“Yes, I know that, Blaine. The question is, why are you wearing it?”

Blaine takes a deep breath.

This is the moment that possibly decides whether he is going to get back together with Kurt.

Which, of course, is why he is doing this.

“So I can't ever cheat on you again,” he says.

Silence. He can hear Kurt's breathing, and his own heartbeat as it pounds in anticipation of what Kurt is going to say.

“Do you trust yourself so little?” Kurt finally asks.

“No,” Blaine says, shaking his head for emphasis even though Kurt can't see it. “I know I'll never cheat on you again. But I know you don't, and I know you don't trust me.”

Damn it. He has practiced this little speech, in front of the mirror no less, he shouldn't choke up now. But the thought of Kurt not trusting him...that he has betrayed Kurt's trust...it's too much.

“You...you locked yourself up so I can completely trust in the fact that you are not physically able to cheat on me again, even if you wanted to?” Kurt asks.

"Yes,” Blaine says. More quietly, he adds, “You can also trust in the fact that I won't want to, but that's not so easy to prove.”

“I'm not sure I'd call something like that easy,” Kurt says, and Blaine grins.

“I kind of like it, actually,” he offers.

“You do?” Kurt says. “I'd have thought it terribly uncomfortable.”

“You get used to it,” Blaine says. He hesitates, isn't sure if that's something he should share, if they're there yet. But he wants them to be, and if they're not, he knows Kurt won't hesitate to tell him so.

So he swallows drily and says, “I'm kind of turned on by it.”

Silence. For so long that Blaine thinks it's definitely been a mistake to bring that up.

But then Kurt says, “Oh,” and it sounds breathy and thin and not at all pissed off. “What...what do you like about it?”

“Um...I'm constantly aware of it. And,” Blaine swallows. Is this going too far? Would Kurt be okay with....”So, this is...a lot. But, assuming you'd agree to let us be boyfriends again...”

“So that's what all of this is about,” Kurt interrupts. To Blaine's relief, he sounds amused.

So, he bluntly admits, “Of course this is what it is about. Do you think I'd lock myself up for any goal less worthy?”

Into Kurt's laughter, he says, “So, assuming you'd agree to that, and you'd ever want to do.... that again, I think it's...it's hot to think that you are the only one who can touch me there. I like that. It's like I belong to you.”

* * *

 

Oh God. It must be the most inappropriate reaction he could have had. He can't deny he likes the thought. Anyone who'd look in the area of his crotch could see he likes the thought. He opens the buttons of his pants, just for some relief, happy that Blaine can't see him. But he can't suppress a moan as his hand brushes his cock, and from the way Blaine's breath hitches, he has definitely heard that.

“Kurt, are you-” Blaine asks. “Are you touching yourself?”

Kurt snatches his hand away. “It's hot, okay?” he defends himself. “It's a hot thought. And since I can and you...”

You can't, he is about to say, but maybe that would be a little unfair.

Blaine takes a deep breath. “Do it.”

“What?”

“M-make yourself come. Please. I want you to.”

In a way, maybe, it makes sense. Blaine is – was—probably still is such a fan of masturbation it kind of makes sense that he'd want to listen to Kurt doing it. But they have never done that. A mildly suggestive text now and then, once they had started having sex. Never anything like what Blaine is asking for now. And they're not even together. Kurt hasn't thought about...although, let's be honest. He's had time to reflect on everything, and he knows that, though he isn't the one who cheated, he isn't completely innocent. He had neglected Blaine, had let New York dazzle him so everything had happened exactly the way Blaine had feared and Kurt had told him it wouldn't. So he has thought about getting back together with Blaine, once he could admit to himself that maybe he was to blame just the tiniest bit for how everything had turned out. Once he hadn't been so angry and hurt and completely devastated anymore. And, if we're completely honest, he has recently allowed himself to imagine things they could do if they were to get back together. Things that went beyond showing Blaine New York or singing duets.

Without thinking about it, he palms his cock.

“K-Kurt?” Blaine asks, and Kurt realizes he hasn't said anything. He exhales softly, knows that Blaine must fear he has gone too far.

“I'm here,” he says. He can barely get the words out. He is aroused to the verge of pain, but there is something else, too—the feeling that something monumental is about to happen, that he is standing at a threshold. If he does this...if he gets himself off while Blaine is listening on the phone, Blaine will expect that it means they're back together.

“I can't,” he says.

Blaine sighs, disappointed and insecure, and Kurt longs for him to be here so he can poke him in the side and tell him that's not what he means.

“I'm not saying I don't want to,” he says. “I know that this is big, what you're doing, and I...I appreciate it. But I have to think about it, and I refuse to think with my dick.”

Blaine laughs, a little shakily, and Kurt knows he's crying at the same time. It makes him want to change his mind, and his dick wants the same, but he resolutely closes his pants and his heart. He has to do this right. For his own sake, and for Blaine's, too, for nothing good will come of it if he finds out too late he hasn't forgiven him for cheating after all and then holds it against him at every little disagreement.

“I know what you're doing is...huge,” he says. “And I don't want you to think I don't realize what you're willing to give up for me. I know you, after all.”

Blaine chuckles with him this time, and Kurt is relieved.

“I'll make up my mind. Soon, I promise.”

 

He forbids himself to jerk off that night, and the next day after school, he has made ten or so copies of the key that he's wearing—out of sheer paranoia, he tells himself, not for any reason more sentimental—on a chain around his neck. He can just imagine himself losing that key. He puts the keys in various places around the apartment, hopefully where Rachel won't find them, and swears that the next time he's in Lima, he'll hide one in Blaine's room for emergencies. Only then does he think that maybe he won't have to, because he'll send the key back to Blaine, with it rejecting the offer, the responsibility, and—well. Blaine.

He'd like to talk to Rachel, but she is too busy with school and Brody with the aaamazing abs (her words, not his) and all the wonderful new friends she's making and how impressed her teachers are...and she's doing, he realizes, the same to him that he did to Blaine. He very much wishes to have somebody else to talk to, someone who doesn't interrupt him all the time and instead just listens to him, and it makes him forgive Blaine a little more. Although he really, really didn't have to sleep with the guy. Well, you can't have him any more, random guy from Facebook, he thinks. He's mine.

Rachel tells him he's lucky to be single in New York, because apparently being single in New York is the best thing ever. The thing is just, Kurt doesn't feel single. He feels like he's the one holding the key Blaine gave him, together with the trust that they'd be able to forgive and make everything right again.

And he finds he's getting more and more ready to get started.

When he makes that decision, he's in bed, and it's really late. He can't call Blaine to tell him, and also doesn't want to tell him yet. Blaine's asleep, he won't suffer in ignorance, and Kurt can lie there and grin at the ceiling while he's contemplating the possibilities. Then he grins even wider as he has an idea how to break the news to Blaine. It's not very romantic, but he has a feeling Blaine might appreciate it.

He jerks off to images of Blaine begging him to take off the cage, to touch him, and it doesn't take long until he comes, stifling his moan with a pillow. Then he turns on the light, and takes the chain with the key from his neck and instead wraps it around his cock. He takes a picture of his dick, the key, and his cum-covered belly, and sends it to Blaine so he'll see it in the morning before school.

Then he cleans up and goes to sleep.

 

And apparently, dick pics are now a thing they do. For the next morning, he gets one from Blaine, his locked-up dick an angry red and straining against the cage. And a message: _Call me tonight?_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a while, but maybe you remember? A few of you wanted me to continue this, and so did my brain. I want to put a double disclaimer on this, though.  
> 1\. This story doesn't come easy to me. I won't attept to put any kind of schedule on how often I'll update. I will try (and if you know my work, you know that's quite a promise) to not write any cliffhangers, so that each chapter can be read as a more or less complete story with the one(s) before. This is also meant as an apology to those of you who read the first part in the assumption it was complete.  
> 2\. I don't have any experience with chastity devices whatsoever. Though my husband supports my writing, he didn't want to try it, and my internet research yielded some interesting visuals, but little useful information. So I'll apologize now for any mistakes I make, and I'm always happy to be educated.
> 
> This one's set during Swan Song. As always, I'm happy to hear from you.

Telling Rachel is a little awkward.

“You're back together with Blaine?” she asks indignantly. “He cheated on you!”

“He won't do it again,” Kurt says.

“How can you be so sure? Did he sign one of those contracts?”

“Something like that.”

He grins.

 

He is, of course, aware that technically, Blaine could still cheat. You don't need your dick for everything, after all. There's kissing and general fooling around, for one.

Blaine could blow someone while wearing the cage.

Blaine could be fucked while wearing the cage.

The possibilities are practically endless.

He says goodbye to Rachel rather soon after that thought, claiming homework.

 

He's doing that rather a lot, recently. Not homework, but disappearing in the bathroom or behind the curtains that separate his bed from hers, pulling down his pants and getting himself off as quickly as possible, biting into his hand or a pillow to muffle his sounds when he comes.

Thinking about Blaine wearing the cage suffices to make him so horny he can hardly stand it, and it's also everything he needs to get off.

 

He hasn't really talked to Blaine. They text a lot, and Blaine always seems to know when he hasn't got an opportunity to get away for a while, torturing him with texts that are just suggestive enough to make Kurt wish for a little privacy.

But they haven't really talked beyond the one phone call that established that, yes, they are back together. It's a little baffling to Kurt. When they had.... _before,_ Blaine had called all the time, at least once a day, often more. And now, he doesn't. Kurt is a little afraid that Blaine is scared to call him and find the call rejected again, like it had happened so many times when... _before_.

He has sworn to himself never to do that again. There may be times when he can't talk, but it doesn't take more than a minute to accept a call and say exactly that. And then maybe promise to call back and, another thing he has sworn, really do that.

But Blaine doesn't know that. And he doesn't want him to be unsure, doesn't want any doubts from _before_ stand between them.

* * *

 

Blaine is happy when Kurt calls him, though admittedly, he's a little worried, too. After all, they haven't really talked since getting back together, and there is a chance—slight, he thinks, but there—that Kurt may change his mind. Maybe he is scared Blaine will cheat after all, maybe he is insecure about that new...thing about their relationship. Maybe he has found someone else. Or maybe it is none of that at all. Maybe Kurt just wants to talk to him. It has been known to happen.

“Hi,” he says, still sounding a little insecure.

“Hi,” Kurt says, but nothing more.

“Is...everything alright?” Blaine asks after a moment, and to his relief, Kurt answers quickly.

“Yes. Yes, everything's fine.”

He sounds...nervous? Blaine waits.

“I think I just...wanted to hear your voice. I....want to know why you haven't called me.”

“What do you mean? You haven't called me, either. I thought -”

“No!” Kurt interrupts. “I didn't mean it that way, I'm sorry. It wasn't a reproof. I just wondered...” He hesitates. “To be honest, I wondered if you wanted to call, but felt you couldn't. I wouldn't just reject your calls anymore. I mean, there will be times when I can't talk, but -”

“No, that's not it,” Blaine says. “I think...I think when I used to call you all the time...it was partly because I wanted to make you think of me. I mean, I wanted to talk to you, of course, but a part of it was always that I was afraid you'd just forget me.”

It's true. He never really said or even thought of it this way—he's always made up a reason why he had to talk to Kurt, something he had to tell him. But really, he had always wanted to remind Kurt that he was still there, stuck in Lima, with not a lot of better things to do than to wait for Kurt to remember him.

It's easy to see why it isn't like this anymore. “I'm not scared of that anymore,” he says into Kurt's protests. “I only have to move to be reminded that I'm yours, and I know you're wearing my key, and I know as long as you're wearing it, you're mine as well. I don't need any more reassurance than that.”

He also has his friends now, and takes care to not depend on Kurt so much anymore. He won't feel so alone ever again.

“I'm glad,” Kurt says, and Blaine can almost hear his smile. “But maybe we could still try to talk more? I miss you, and you know I won't be able to come to Lima for Christmas after all...if we can't see each other, I want to at least talk to you.”

“Let's try to Skype,” Blaine suggests. “Every day at a time that's okay for both of us, and if it shouldn't work a few times, no hard feelings.”

“Alright. But since we're talking now...how are you? How is Glee club?”

Blaine smiles sadly. It's still hard to believe what happened, the way everything seems to be over for them.

“Mostly,” he says, “everyone's pissed because of what happened at Regionals. Half blames Mr Schue, the other half blames Marley. I mean, we met and sang outside, but it's still...we don't have a competition to prepare for anymore, so that makes everything seem a little...random. I did tell you I'm a cheerleader now, didn't I?”

“You did. I didn't see you in your uniform yet, though.”

Blaine can tell Kurt is pouting, and laughs. “I never got to see you in yours, so you can hardly complain.”

Then he hesitates, biting his tongue. The kind of teasing they have fallen into via text is still strange to him. He blushes every time he send a text, he thinks, but he really, really likes the way it makes Kurt react. Maybe it's time to go further than text.

“I could wear it for our Skype date, though,” he says, and, damn it, feels himself blush. But knowing Kurt, he's blushing too. It doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate the comment.

“OhGodpleaseyes,” Kurt says, so quickly it's hard to understand the single words, and Blaine laughs again. He stops quickly, however, at Kurt's next words.

“Does one see it? The cage? Under the cheerleader pants?”

Blaine palms the bulge under the red pants he's still wearing. He doesn't feel the touch on his cock, but he still feels it, and his cock twitches weakly as if it still quite hasn't given up hope.

“I don't think so,” he says. “I mean, it seems really, really obvious to me, but nobody has said anything...”

“I bet I could see it,” Kurt says, and Blaine feels breathless at his voice. “I bet, if you knew it was there, you could see it.”

“Kurt...” he says.

“I don't even know what's so hot about all of this,” Kurt says. “But you know it's hot, don't you? You know I just have to think about you wearing that thing to get me going.”

Blaine feels heat pool deep in his belly, and bites back a moan. Then he rethinks. If Kurt can say things like that, the least Blaine can do is let him hear his reaction.

“God,” he says. “I...Yes, but...Kurt, can we go on Skype?”

“No,” Kurt says, and there's regret in his voice, but also teasing. “I have to go to class. But we'll Skype tonight. Wear your uniform.”

* * *

 

When Kurt goes on Skype that night, Blaine is already there, waiting in his uniform. He looks slightly uncomfortable, though Kurt doesn't know why. As far as he remembers, the uniform may be polyester, but it is comfortable, made as it is to allow movement.

“What's the matter?” he asks as soon as he sits down in front of the computer.

Blaine swallows. “Well. I can have an erection, sort of. Not full, but enough to make it...very uncomfortable.”

Kurt stares. “How long? Since -”

“Since we talked on the phone. On and off. Mostly on. Yeah.”

“Oh my God. Oh my God. I'm...you know what, I'm not sorry. I mean, I don't want you uncomfortable, but...that's so hot.”

He watches while Blaine squirms on his chair, grinning on the inside. He shouldn't like this so much, but God, he does. “You're blushing.”

“Really? I'm surprised there's still blood left for that,” Blaine says sardonically, and Kurt laughs.

“Stand up,” he says then. “I want to see.”

He groans when Blaine does and there's a definitely noticeable bulge in the red pants.

“Everyone would notice now,” he says hoarsely.

“I know. I'm not sure I can wear these pants ever again.”

“I don't think Sue would let you wear one of the skirts."

Blaine laughs, but it doesn't last long. “Can you...Kurt, are you turned on?”

Kurt blushes, but he is determined not to deviate from his new course of total honesty—even if that honesty mostly seems to be what amounts to dirty talk.

“You know I am,” he says.

“Good,” Blaine says. “Can you...I mean, I feel like one of us has to come or else I'll explode. I'd prefer it to be me, but...” He gestures at his pants.

“No, you can't, can you?” Kurt says. It's not schadenfreude, he doesn't enjoy to see Blaine uncomfortable, but...it's so hot. Blaine so turned on, but not able to get off...he shouldn't like it as much as he does.

“And now you want me to get off while you sit there and suffer?” he asks.

It wouldn't take long. If he can find the courage to actually do it, it won't take long at all.

Blaine nods. Kurt can't really believe this is happening—they've never done something like that. It's...he's not sure. He'd rather be with Blaine, really be with him, but...

“You really want to watch me masturbate without being able to do anything to yourself,” he says, just to clarify.

Blaine nods again, vehemently. “Yes, Kurt. Please. I'm aware that it probably won't help my...problem, but I need to see you come. Please.”

Kurt nods to himself, rises and slowly opens his pants. They've felt too tight all day, and as soon as he pulls down his briefs, his cock pushes free, and Kurt moans in relief.

He sits down again, takes himself in hand and strokes lazily. His body screams at him to go faster, faster, to finally make himself come because he's been low-key turned on the whole day. But he wants to give Blaine a show although he's still terribly embarrassed, and also the situation's so hot he doesn't want it to be over too soon.

He angles the camera so that Blaine can see his cock, and then tells him, “Talk to me.”

Blaine is startled, he can see that, he can see him blushing. But why should Kurt be the only one to be pushed to do something he never, ever would have thought he'd do?

“What—what do you want me to talk about?” Blaine asks after a moment. He's staring with wide eyes at Kurt's cock and the hand that is still slowly jacking it.

“Tell me what you wish for, now. What you imagine we would do if we were together.”

He stops stroking although it is hard, but it's worth it when Blaine's eyes flicker downward fearfully and a brief expression of dismay crosses his face. He starts talking rather quickly after that, and Kurt starts to masturbate for real now, though he still goes slow to draw it out.

“I want to touch you so bad,” Blaine says. He sounds tortured, and Kurt wonders if this whole endeavor was really a good idea. It's too late to stop now, though; he feels like his cock would kill him if he stopped now. He goes faster, urgency entering his movements. He wants to come.

“I think,” Blaine says, “I think if we were together, and you would take your key and free me, I'd come on the spot. Without being touched. You look so hot like this, but I want to touch you so bad....I wish I was there with you, even if...even if it was just me bringing you off, even if I was still in the cage...”

Kurt's orgasm rushes through him, taking him by surprise. He comes in hot spurts on the screen of his laptop, and even while he's cursing and scrambling to get tissues so it won't drip on the keyboard, he thinks that Blaine looks really hot with Kurt's come running down his face


	3. Chapter 3

It's Kurt's first Christmas in New York, and he's going to spend it all alone. It's not by choice. He's briefly considered to break into his hard-earned savings to go to Lima after all after Rachel declared she'd be going on a cruise of all things with her dads, but he has no idea how much he will be able to work once school starts. And then, he doesn't really want to go to Lima. He longs to see his dad and Blaine, but it's Christmas in New York. There is so much to see, to do. He doesn't want to be alone, but he's making the best of it.

Then there's a Christmas tree at his door that's really his dad, and he realizes he would have been miserable alone.

And then his dad tells him he has cancer, and he's not sure 'miserable' is cutting it.

His dad says he's fine, that they caught it early, that there's every chance of a full recovery and a lot of medical talk, but Kurt doesn't really listen. His dad is sitting right there beside him, in a diner with a cup of hot chocolate before him, and all Kurt can see is how he looked in that hospital bed years ago, pale and still. What he says about keeping those you love close doesn't help Kurt's anxiety, either.

He tries to fuss a bit, once they're home again, mostly to calm his own nerves; he does know a blanket or rest don't help with cancer. He also knows his dad is having none of it, and he even knows what he will say to the offer he just has to make.

“Do you want me to come home?”

He wants to, too, at least part of him does. He doesn't know what he'll do if something happens when he's not there. It's one more reminder that life is short and by no means certain, and he'd rather spend it with his dad than at college.

But Burt throws one of Rachel's pillows at him, with enough force to prove he's not so frail just yet, and says, “Don't you dare. You've worked hard for this, Kurt, and you deserve it. I have Carole to fuss over me at home, and I'll be fine.”

He grins. “Your boy, too.”

“Blaine? You told him?”

“Of course. You'd have told him anyway, and someone's got to look after him when you're not there, after all.”

Kurt tries to frown at his dad, but somehow it turns into a smile. He's just so happy that there has been no doubt at all, with his dad or with him, who was meant with “your boy”, and also he's amazed at Burt's sneakiness. He's also pretty sure that he'd have acted exactly the same way if Kurt hadn't told him he was back together with Blaine.

That he's even sneakier than Kurt suspected is made clear when they exchange their one early Christmas present.

He's not too thrilled to be going out again into the could night air, and neither about leaving his dad alone for even an hour, but Burt had been adamant and practically pushed him out the door, and his grin told Kurt that this is the best Christmas present of all time.

And it is.

“Package for Kurt Hummel,” a familiar voice calls out, and Kurt lets out an undignified squeal and throws himself into Blaine's arms. In all his joy, however, he doesn't miss the flicker of uncertainty in Blaine's expression, as if he isn't sure how he'd be received. It cuts him, and he holds Blaine a little tighter, without regard for the fact that they're in public or that things might actually still be weird between them.

For now, he has Blaine back.

They go ice skating, and Kurt doesn't even mind when he falls flat on his face and Blaine circles around him and laughs gently till he can't help but laugh as well. He lets Blaine pull him up and then pulls him close, and he doesn't let go of his hand anymore until it's time to go home and he needs both hands to change shoes.

* * *

 

Blaine has a lot of memories about Kurt's loft, all of them bad. He still dreams of that final night, lying in Kurt's bed with him there, so close and yet so far apart. Because of course Kurt hadn't thrown him out after his confession, like he had half hoped he would, like he knew he deserved.

Burt being there helps. Burt has always supported him, even when he had hurt Kurt so much and he slipped away quietly, embarrassed and mortified and horribly afraid of Burt's reaction, the one time he had seen him while getting groceries. Until Burt had spotted him at the cashier's and clapped him on the back and greeted him like nothing ever happened.

They had talked later, sitting at the table in the Hummels' kitchen rather than a coffee shop or something else more public, and Blaine had been glad of it because he had started crying after about three minutes. Then, he had been scolded and asked what he had been thinking and told he'd better make up for breaking Kurt's heart. But he had also been listened to, and for the first time he had had the feeling that someone actually cared why he had done what he had done, how he had felt.

Burt is family. And now that they're watching TV and cooking and singing together, Blaine is making new memories, ones that are absolutely worth the lengthy discussions he had had with his parents to get them to allow him to come here for Christmas.

When they're sitting in front of the TV and he's betting with Burt on how long Kurt will pretend to watch the game with them, Blaine can't help but sneak a glance at Kurt every now and then—well, rather often, to be honest. It's strange that with everything they've done on Skype, he still can't quite believe he's here with him again, as his boyfriend, forgiven—and yet there's nowhere else he ever wants to be. He feels like he's challenging fate when on Burt's question what he wants to do after graduation, he tentatively suggests applying to NYADA, and Kurt grins enthusiastically and starts making plans on how to increase his chances of getting in. He can't but take Kurt's hand then, and Kurt squeezes it and smiles at him and doesn't let go.

* * *

 

 Kurt feels bad when he notices that he is rather impatiently waiting for his dad to go to bed. He has no problem with a little pda in front of him—he has walked in on them making out too often to count, and it has stopped being awkward after the first few times. And it's not as if they're going to do anything in an apartment with no walls, with Burt in Rachel's bed separated only by a curtain. Still, he longs to be alone with Blaine, to kiss him with leisure and dedication, to hold him. There are tears burning behind his eyes that he knows will fall sooner or later, and he's rather they did when he can cry into Blaine's shoulder. They're both from shock over his dad's cancer and from joy over Blaine being here with him, and he knows Blaine will understand.

So when Burt finally says good night and disappears, he waits only for a few seconds before he pulls Blaine into his arms and kisses him, breathless from the start cause it's been so long, so long since he had Blaine with him like this. Blaine melts into his arms and reciprocates with enthusiasm, and they sit there and kiss for a good long time, re-learning each others' mouths, and every touch seems new and exciting and also comforting and familiar.

And it's only when his own cock stirs in his pants that Kurt remembers that Blaine's won't.

“Oh my God,” he whispers, standing up and pulling Blaine up with him. “I can't believe I forgot.”

He listens for a moment, and at the reassuring snores coming from Burt, he pulls Blaine behind the curtains of his own bed.

“Show me,” he orders, sitting down on the edge of the bed and looking at Blaine expectantly. Blaine looks confused for a moment, but then he swallows and pulls down his pants and briefs in one swift movement, letting them fall down to pool around his ankles.

Kurt stares. He's never seen it except for the photo that he has absolutely not looked at again and again. Kurt's own cock is half-hard, though he feels it twitch again at the sight; Blaine's looks like it would like to be, too. It's not enough to push the cage away from his body, but it's enough to make his cock look an almost angry red as it presses against the bars of its prison.

Kurt takes a quivering breath and lifts a trembling finger to touch, draws his finger over the hot flesh between two of the bars. Blaine gasps and flinches, and Kurt thinks maybe he should have asked to be allowed to touch, but when he looks up, Blaine is standing with his eyes closed, and though he looks flushed, he doesn't seem distressed.

And anyway, this is his. Blaine said so himself, that his cock belongs to Kurt now, and he doesn't need permission to touch what belongs to him.

So he touches. He closes his hand around the cage. The bars feel cold at first, but they soon warm, and he can feel Blaine's cock between them, leaning up into his touch. He circles the ring around Blaine's balls with a finger and then gently pulls on them. Blaine gasps and starts to tremble, and he puts his hands on Kurt's shoulders to steady himself, but he doesn't say a word until Kurt gently touches his thumb to the tip of his cock, collecting a drip of moisture beading from the slit.

Then he whispers, “Kurt...”

Guiltily, Kurt pulls his hand away. “We can't. Not with my dad right here,” he says softly. “It won't be so bad, we've both had a long day and should go to sleep.”

Blaine exhales slowly and nods. He steps out of the clothes on the floor and gets his sleeping pants and a shirt out of his bag.

Kurt sits there, feeling a little lost. Then he shrugs inwardly and stands up to get himself ready for bed. He hesitates again when he gets to the pants; his cock is fully hard now, and he feels a little awkward. But Blaine has seen him naked and hard on numerous occasions, and he's masturbated in front of a laptop screen, so there should be no problem now. So he hooks his thumbs into the waistband of his pants and wriggles out of them, and its only when he steps out of his underwear that he notices Blaine staring.

“Kurt, I want you so bad.” he says. It sounds tortured.

Kurt flops down on the bed, patting the space beside him to get Blaine to join him. “I know,” he says, then grins and gestures at his erection. “Me too, obviously.”

They kiss for a while, then just lie there in each other's arms. It would be perfect, if not for his straining hard-on and Blaine's ragged breaths—and Burt's snoring only a few feet away.

“You know,” Blaine says softly, “I get that it would be too much of a hassle now with the cage and all.”

He wriggles free of Kurt's arms, scooting down to put his head on Kurt's belly. He peeks up at him, smiling. Kurt has a hard time concentrating on anything but Blaine's face so close to his cock.

“But it's only ever been me who had a problem with staying quiet, and if I were to take care that my mouth was occupied otherwise, and you'd maybe bite a pillow just to make sure...”

He scoots down a few more inches and then licks teasingly along Kurt's cock.

Kurt hurriedly grabs a pillow and puts it over his mouth to muffle his moan. Over it, he can just see Blaine looking up at him. Not trusting his voice, he just nods, and then bites the pillow as Blaine starts blowing him, lazily and leisurely, slowly rediscovering him. Kurt discovers quickly that Blaine hasn't forgotten any of the things he likes, and he longs to put his own memory to the test in a similar way.

Then Blaine starts sucking in earnest, with a new urgency and quite clearly goal-oriented. Kurt presses the pillow down on his face so hard he can't breathe, and soon he comes, shooting down Blaine's throat.

He vaguely notices Blaine crawling up again and settling in his arms, a smug grin on his face. Then his eyes fall closed, and he sleeps.


	4. Chapter 4

Kurt misses Blaine fiercely when he's gone. Somehow, now that he's been here, even if only for such a short time, it's more real that they're back together, and also what he's missing when they're not in one place.

He concentrates on school. He thinks about joining Glee club even though Rachel tells him not to, because apparently now they are the cool kids and have to look down on those who are like they once were. He looks in at rehearsal despite her protests, but it all comes to nothing when their leader, Adam, asks him out and he has to tell him he has a boyfriend. He feels too awkward joining after that, especially since Adam doesn't seem like he'd be content with just being friends. But just saying the words, “I have a boyfriend” had felt so good, even though he had tried to put an appropriate amount of regret into the statement.

He knows it won't be long until he sees Blaine again. Mr Schue will get married in February, and of course he will be there. All of them will, and he is really looking forward to seeing everyone again, but particularly Blaine. They'll have time, and a hotel room with a lockable door, and he can't wait to take that cage off Blaine.

But there's a Sadie Hawkings dance tomorrow, and he wishes he could be there and take Blaine. It can't be easy for him to go after what happened, and he wants to be there for him. It also seems kind of sad that Blaine has to go with Tina, as friends, while there are couples all around.

But when Blaine calls him late that evening, it doesn't seem that he missed him all that much, or even that he had had much time for dancing.

“I saved the New Directions,” Blaine announces proudly, then quickly amends, “Well, maybe. If everything works out.”

“You can compete again?” Kurt asks. He's still much too excited for this. Mostly, he's happy for Blaine and the others. At least, that's what he tells himself.

“Well, hopefully. We're trying to get the Warblers disqualified. Sam figured out that something was wrong about them and then we got Trent to confess that they were taking performance-enhancing drugs.”

“Wow. That's really...How do you feel about that?”

“It's like...” Blaine hesitates, and Kurt smiles because he can almost imagine his shrug and the furrowed brows. “It's like, these are the Warblers that threw a rock salt slushie and stole our trophy. They're not the same guys you and I used to sing with.”

Kurt nods. “Well, I hope everything works the way you want it. And with doing all that, did you still find time to dance with Tina?”

Blaine scoffs. “Of course I did. What kind of a gentleman do you take me for?”

* * *

 

Finally, February comes along. Blaine wants Kurt badly. He has made do with ogling Sam during the day and Skyping with Kurt at night, but it's not the same. Nothing can replace the feeling of Kurt's arms around him, his mouth on his. He doesn't even dare think of what they might do after the wedding reception, in their hotel room, with a whole night for themselves and no one to come barging in on them, for fear he might just bust the cage.

They practice their duet during their Skype sessions. _Just Can't Get Enough_ , it's so fitting and also a quite simple song as Skyping not the same as real practicing, and most nights they stop singing early so they can...so Kurt still has time to...well. The fun part, though less so for Blaine, who can only watch and press a hand against the cage. Kurt has grown bolder, does more talking of what he plans to do when they're in the same city, the same bed again. It's a delicious torture for Blaine, but it's all worth it when he can watch Kurt come.

At school, he deals with Glee club and senior year and Tina, who seems to have developed something of a crush on him, which he doesn't know how to deal with. Their crusade against the Warblers is successful, but it hurts more than he lets on. Even after everything and despite what he told Kurt, he can't help but sometimes feel he's betraying them, especially considering he briefly thought about transferring back after....well. _After_.

But, amazingly, most of the time, things are good. He can't help but notice that he and Kurt are better at communication. They don't just have Skype sex, after all. They sing, and they talk, really talk, about their days and their plans and hopes for the future. He knows most of those are just as naive and unrealistic as their fantasy that long-distance wouldn't matter to them, but there are little things like redesigning the apartment to fit Blaine in that make him feel that this phase, where they're apart, is merely time to prepare for when they're together. Like, and he blushes at the thought, like planning a wedding.

Which fortunately he is not involved in. He sees Miss Pillsbury getting more skittish every day, and polishing more things, while Mr. Schue is completely unconcerned for anything but the music, and even that he mostly delegates to the kids.

Blaine doesn't concern himself overmuch with that, more than promising himself that the planning for his own wedding one day will look differently. No way is he doing everything himself. Then he laughs. He'll marry Kurt, he'll be lucky if he gets a say in things at all. But that is at some point in the future. For now, for this wedding, all he has to do is sing one or two songs, and then the rest of the night is his to dance, to have fun, and to finally, hopefully, get the cage off.

 

When he's lying under Kurt on the backseat of his rented Prius, being thoroughly kissed, he's not sure they'll make it to the wedding at all. He tries to feel bad about it but can't, not when Kurt is rubbing himself against Blaine's cock cage and moaning into his ear. But Mercedes comes to berate them about making out in a church parking lot, and Blaine sees another advantage of the cage when they climb out of the car and Kurt has to take care to cover himself with his coat, and Blaine doesn't. He grins at Kurt at that realization, and yelps when Kurt pinches his ass.

He's not sure it's worth the interruption when, in the end, there's not even a wedding. It’s no complete surprise to him that Miss Pillsbury ran away; he's seen how overwhelmed she was in the end, and he wouldn't want to marry someone who left him so completely alone with everything either. But it's....a big thing, and apparently completely unexpected by Mr. Schue, and Blaine can't help but feel bad for him. He remembers all too well the feeling of having lost the one you love.

 

So the wedding turns into a Valentine's day Glee club reunion, and they sing and dance and have fun like they planned to. And Blaine is swaying in Kurt's arms, and buries his face in his neck and breathes him in, and is happy.

* * *

 

When Kurt holds Blaine in his arms on the dance floor, he is kind of surprised he isn't more impatient to get to their hotel room and continue what they started in the car. It had been a weird but nice feeling to press himself against Blaine, feeling only the unyielding cage against his own growing erection. And it's not that he's not eager, it's just....he has missed this, too. Holding Blaine. Having him press against him like he does, as if he wants to be as close as he can. Singing with him, too, and doing the weird choreography that they devised over Skype, hugging themselves because they couldn't hug each other.

They eat baby cupcakes and talk with their friends, but at some point, while they are sitting down for a drink, he lets his hand fall on Blaine's thigh under the table and then slowly slide up until there is really no doubt left as to where it's headed. While the others slowly wander off to dance, he takes a deep breath and then puts his hand directly on Blaine's crotch.

“Do you feel that?” he asks. There's no need to whisper as the music is so loud, but he does anyway, leaning close to Blaine to let his breath brush against his neck and his ear Blaine shakes his head.

“No, but I know where your hand is. It's...enough to make thing uncomfortable really fast.”

Kurt smiles. He feels like the cat that got the cream, and he deserves it, too, he figures, since these rather bold moves still don't come naturally to him.

“Do you want to go upstairs and take it off?”

 

Taking off the cage does not quite go as Kurt had planned. Instead of the simple, elegant move he envisioned, he fumbles and drops the tiny key twice. The second time, they need a few minutes and a lot of deep breaths when the key seems to vanish in the bedding. Kurt is close to panic when they finally find it. Blaine is much calmer, but when Kurt eventually manages to turn the key and takes the cage off, that changes. Blaine's breath comes in short, hard pants, and he moans when Kurt accidentally brushes his cock with his hand. Kurt watches, fascinated, as as soon as it's free, Blaine's cock slowly grows into a full erection without being touched. Blaine's hands grab the bedspread.

Kurt slowly strokes a finger along Blaine's length, just a finger, not enough to make him really feel something. And still, Blaine's breath becomes even more ragged, and he closes his eyes and whispers under his breath, something that sounds like multiple “Oh my God”s in a row.

“Kurt,” he says, “I won't last.”

“I know. I never expected you to.”

So he decides to make Blaine's first orgasm after - God, could it really be four months? - as good as possible, and stops teasing, instead closing his hand around Blaine's shafts and tugging. Once, twice - that's all it takes, and Blaine arches his back and comes in long streaks over Kurt's hand and his belly, so much Kurt is glad they took at least the time to get naked first.

Blaine lies there for a long time without moving. Finally, he opens his eyes with a blissful smile on his face.

“Oh my God,” he says.

“There's a lot of calling of deities going on here,” Kurt teases, and Blaine pokes him with a weak movement.

“You have no idea, Kurt,” he says. “That was...when you haven't come as long as I -” He shakes his head and lies back again, an image of satisfaction and contentment.

Kurt arranges them so he can cuddle him close, Blaine's head resting on his shoulder. Blaine feels boneless and heavy and familiar.

“I'm sorry I already...you know,” Blaine says. “Came.”

They're both working on talking like this.

“No worries,” Kurt says. “The night is young, and so are we -”

“Dancing, nay na na na?” Blaine sings, and Kurt laughs and pokes him.

“Come on, let's go downstairs again, dance for a bit,” he suggests, but Blaine just cuddles closer.

“In a bit,” he says and closes his eyes.

 

Of course, they fall asleep. When they wake, it's much later, but still early enough that most of their friends should still be there. So they get dressed and go downstairs again, Blaine's cock for the first time in four months free from its cage. They join their friends on the dance floor and have fun for another hour or two.

In spite of this, this time, Kurt is impatient. He has been low-key horny all the time since their make-out in the car, with increasingly frequent interludes of being high-key horny. He wants to come, dammit, and he wants to touch and be touched, wants to feel Blaine's naked body press against his. It's hard to think of anything else when there's this heat in his belly and his half-hard cock twitches at any given opportunity. Blaine, the bastard, of course knows exactly how he's feeling, and can't quite suppress a smug grin. Maybe it's justice, since so often in the last few months, it's been the other way round. Still, Kurt feels entirely justified when he rather abruptly ends their dancing and pulls Blaine into their room by his tie.

 

At some point, Blaine asks breathlessly, “Are you gonna fuck me?”

Kurt shakes his head. He closes his hand around Blaine's cock and gives it a squeeze, making Blaine moan.

“This won't be free again in a long time,” he says. “We should put it to good use.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another chapter. If you stil remember that this exists, I can only apologize profusely for the longer than usual wait. I'm very sorry. Also, this is a somewhat dark chapter, as there is mention of teh events of "Shooting Star", as well as a little discussion of Blaine's depression.

Kurt relents, later, as they are lying between sleep and waking, tangled in each others' arms, sated and a little sticky.

“You don't have to, anymore,” he says. “If—if you don't want to.”

He has no idea what time it is. It is still dark outside, but he has a feeling it's closer to morning than night. He doesn't want morning. Morning means he has to go back to New York, leave Blaine behind to face all the awkwardness that will ensue the wedding that wasn't Monday at school. But there's still a few hours left he can just be here, with Blaine. But he wants him to know that this is nothing he demands of him, that it isn't anything Blaine has to do. Not anymore.

“I don't have to what?” Blaine says sleepily.

“Wear the cage. I trust you.”

Blaine sits up a little, rubbing his eyes. “But I want to,” he says, quietly, as if afraid.

“Okay,” Kurt says.

* * *

He might have, Blaine thinks, agreed just to get out of admitting how much he loves wearing the cage. Once. Not now. Because as he lies there, sated and sleepy, there are three things that make him tell the truth.

Because today, Kurt will go back to New York, and Blaine knows he will need the feeling of security, of being Kurt's, that the cage gives him, to help him over the separation. Not as much as he used to, because he trusts Kurt, but still.

Also, he really, really loves wearing the cage, for multiple reasons, and he's almost over his fear of losing Kurt again. He has the confidence to admit what he wants, now, even if it might be a little embarrassing.

And he's reasonably sure that Kurt likes the cage just as much as he does.

So he says it, without hesitating, if a little quiet, and Kurt says okay, and the confession leads to another round of sleepy, lazy blowjobs, and then he again falls asleep in Kurt's arms.

A little before Kurt has to leave—he is standing in front of the bed, showered and styled and impeccably dressed, while Blaine is still lying there naked, Blaine says, “Will you lock me in?”

“W-what?” Kurt asks, although of course he has to know what Blaine means.

“Lock me in,” Blaine repeats. “It's the only thing that's always felt wrong, that I did it myself. Please, I want you to.”

So Kurt does.

* * *

 

When Kurt jerks off now, it's that what he sees before him: the key in his hand, Blaine's expression that is helplessly turned on and desperate, the little sound the lock makes as it snaps shut, signalizing finality and that Blaine is undeniably, unequivocally, his.

“You know I spent the whole flight adjusting myself, and seriously thinking of jerking off in the plane bathroom?” he accuses Blaine on the phone that night.

“It must have been pretty bad to get you to consider that,” Blaine laughs, and Kurt nods emphatically.

“You couldn't have told me to lock you in ten minutes earlier, so there would have been time left for a blowjob?”

“An oversight on my part,” Blaine apologizes. “I didn't expect you to get turned on.”

“You didn't.” “Okay, maybe a little. But...You were only horny, without real opportunity to get relief, for the duration of the flight. Me, on the other hand...”

“Okay, okay,” Kurt laughs. “I see what you mean.”

He may find that kind of denial rather...unpleasant, but he knows there are people—a lot, even—that like it. And as he sees that Blaine might be one of them, he finally does some research. It's late, he knows. He tried to, once, shortly after they got back together when it was clear (if only from his own body's reaction) that Blaine wearing a cock cage was actually something that would concern him. But there was no escaping the pictures, and it was like watching those movies way back when, and he quickly stopped when he started to freak out.

Now it's different. He still scrolls quickly past the pictures, but now he has seen a caged cock, has touched it (has licked it, felt it twitch against the bars beneath his tongue, and he interrupts his research for some quality time with his own, fortunately uncaged dick). None of the men in the articles look as good as Blaine.

He finds some advice on safety and hygiene, which he takes careful notes on, and then he finds a few things that are eye-opening in another way. One article says that women can't wear chastity for longer periods of time because of hygiene issues, and the writer _pities_ them because of that. And another says that sex has become so much better since he wears a cage, because now he can focus completely on his partner.

Now it's not that Kurt hasn't thought about that. About fucking Blaine while he's wearing the cage, about taking everything he wants and not letting Blaine have anything in return except endless teasing (for there is no way he'd be able to keep his hands off Blaine) and helpless arousal without hope of relief. But he has always felt guilty about it, and it's not even really what he wants: he doesn't want to take from Blaine without giving anything back. But now...seeing that there are people who actually do it that way, and that they like it...it wouldn't be so selfish, maybe, if Blaine liked it. If the endless teasing and helpless arousal were things he wanted.

They might have to talk about it, if he can bring himself to bring it up.

They're snowed in, and in between watching movies (he sings along to Come What May with real feeling) and eating their limited supplies, they find out that Brody is actually a gigolo. Kurt feels bad for Rachel, but can't help but secretly be glad because it means that Brody finally moves out. No naked ass anymore on his vintage flea market chairs, no need for a white noise machine at night for the time being. But he tries to be more circumspect about his new bliss with Blaine, until he notices that Rachel is more frustrated than heartbroken. The loft is less crowded now, too, with just him and Rachel and Santana, and he is determined that the next one who moves in will be Blaine.

* * *

 

Blaine wonders how- if—to bring it up every time he talks to Kurt. Maybe it might be best to not talk about it at all and just hope for the best when they next see each other. But it would be so hot. But wouldn't it be weird? Isn't it weird to want this?

He nods sympathetically as Kurt rants once more, though probably for the last time, about Brody. Blaine feels more with Rachel, actually, but then he isn't the one who had to live with Brody and listen to everything from their corner of the loft when he tried to sleep at night.

“No white noise machine can block out everything,” Kurt says, and shudders dramatically.

Blaine smiles into the camera of his laptop, but then says, “Well, you won't have to hear anymore from them, will you? Anyway, you shouldn't be so hard on them. Who knows what Rachel will hear from us when I'm there with you? You know how loud I can get.”

It doesn't take much more than that to get them going these days, and it's only a few minutes later that Blaine stares hungrily at Kurt's hand rubbing his cock, his own hand pressed against the cage as if it would somehow be able to alleviate the pressure on it. He moves forward to be able to see better, and when he can actually see a drop of precome forming on the tip of Kurt's cock, he can't help it anymore.

“Will you fuck me while I'm wearing the cage?” he blurts out, red-faced and breathless. When Kurt comes against the camera of his laptop, he's pretty sure he has his answer.

 

But it seems to take an eternity until they'll get an opportunity to be in the same place again. It's even hard to find time for their Skype sessions, as there is a ridiculous amount of drama going on. Finn and Mr Schue are fighting. Blaine didn't even know that is possible, as the two of them seem like the same person most of the time. But apparently Finn has kissed Miss Pillsbury, and now Mr Schue acts like another child has played with his favorite toy. Blaine doesn't even know. He'd be hurt if someone kissed Kurt, but he hopes he won't act like this.

The thing is, their fight affects the Glee Club. Of course it does. What part of their life doesn't? But it's just no fun anymore, and so they give them an assignment, and as they sing, Blaine makes an interesting discovery.

In the performance, he is a marionette, tied up and allowed to move only as far as the strings reach. And he can't help but imagine it's Kurt who tied him up, and maybe he's on a bed instead of a stage, and he isn't dancing, but instead not moving at all...Once more he is thankful for the cage, for without it dancing would have been quite uncomfortable.

He won't mention that new discovery to Kurt, not yet. It's already hard for Blaine to get used to all these...desires he finds he has, and to reconcile them with how he sees himself. He needs time and opportunity to process it all before he talks to Kurt, and he also doesn't want to overwhelm Kurt with everything he wants to be done to himself.

But time to process is something he just doesn't have. He and Sam take over Glee club for a week, and it's a lot more work than he thought it would be, though it's also a lot of fun. Their theme of the week is Guilty Pleasures, and it might be that he chose it (just a little) because of everything going on with his sex life. Which, he tells himself, he does _not_ feel guilty about. He has no reason to; everything they have done so far, Kurt has participated in with enthusiasm, and when it comes to the other stuff, the things he's just discovering for himself—well, he'll cross that bridge when he comes to it.

It's just a little strange, sometimes, to want these things. To want what almost every guy he knows would never even consider, would push even the mere thought of as far away as they can.

 

Then there's a shooter at school, which is really only Sue cleaning her gun or whatever, but the thing is—they didn't know that. As they were huddling on the floor of the choir room, silent and terrified, they didn't know their cheerleading coach is actually crazy enough to bring a gun to school, and now they do, the knowledge doesn't do anything to diminish the terror they felt—still feel, if he's honest. Afterwards, he remembers what he thought as he helped Artie get down and then sat on the floor behind the piano: Please, not now. Not when everything is finally good again.

A few months back, he might have met the thought of dying with more...disinterestedness. He can't know, there's no way to know how he might have felt in such a situation, even at his most depressed. He only knows that now, now he doesn't want to die. Not now.

When he's home that day, his parents don't let him out of their sight. He can understand that; they've tweeted for someone to call the police, and his parents must have spend quite some time not knowing if he lived or died. They're shaken, he is, too, and for a while, it feels good to be hugged and fussed over. But then...after a while, he wants Kurt. They let him call him after he points out that he has read the tweets as well, and it wouldn't be fair for him to be left in the dark for any longer than necessary. But they won't let him go to New York, not even the next day or the day after, and he knows that if Kurt came here, like he wanted to, they would hardly let him see him. They reluctantly let him go to school, but he had to promise to come home right after, and his mom checks on him at least twice an hour when he's in his room. It would be sweet, really, if it wasn't so annoying. If they didn't keep him from Kurt.

“At a time like this, you need to be with your family,” his dad says.

So if he wants Kurt, he needs to find a way to make Kurt his family.


	6. Chapter 6

Things normalize faster than Blaine thought possible. It's not even been a whole week when his parents fail to rise with him in the morning, and only a few days after that when nobody is home when he returns from school. He sees that as the taciturn agreement that the ban on after school activities is over, and no one says anything when he only returns home for dinner the day after. He'd be hurt if he wasn't so relieved, or—maybe he's hurt even so. Just a little, though. He knows they love him and they mean well, and they've never been the type to hover.

It also makes him think about the meaning of family. His parents are family, yes, but so is Kurt. Kurt would have understood what he needed for comfort, and would not have presumed or projected his own expectations on him. Kurt has done everything he can to be there for him, even from afar.

So his parents can think what they want, but Kurt is his family. He doesn't need to do anything to make him so.

But he wants to. So, so much.

He buys a pretty little rainbow pin and gives it to Burt, to wear it in Washington, hopeful when Burt once again expresses his support for gay marriage.

“I want to ask Kurt to marry me,” he blurts out.

Burt looks at him like he's grown a second head. “You kidding or you nuts?” he asks bluntly.

Blaine shrugs. “I know you'll say we're to young. But...my feelings for Kurt aren't going to change. I know I want to be with him for ever. He's my soulmate.”

“Look...” Burt says, “you know I'm happy that you love Kurt, and you know you're like family to me...”

“So you're saying you'd be okay with us getting married?”

“Of course not. You're just kids. There is absolutely no reason for you to get married.” He laughs, as if the idea is absurd, and Blaine starts to get a little....pissed.

“I don't think you understand,” he says, “what it's like to be denied the right to marry.”

“Come on, let's go sit down,” Burt says.

Reluctantly, Blaine sits on a chair. He's aware he's pouting and it doesn't improve his mood.

“Just because you might soon be able to, hopefully,” Burt says, “doesn't mean you have to, or even that you should. You are very young, you know, even if you don't like to hear it. I'm not saying it won't work. The point is, though, there are so many steps still before you, milestones, if you will. Graduate. Go to New York, move in with Kurt. See how that's like. There are so many things you can experience together. Marriage is one of them, of course, but it doesn't have to come right now.”

Blaine can't quite shake the feeling that Burt may have a point. He is looking forward to experiencing everything with Kurt, he doesn't have to experience everything at once. However, he isn't quite ready to concede. “What if something goes wrong?” he asks sullenly.

“Like what?”

“Like he finds someone else.”

“You did, not so long ago,” Burt says, making Blaine wince. It still hurts to remember what he did to Kurt. “And Kurt forgave you, and you're back together now, and probably stronger for the experience. Back then, did you think that would be possible?”

Blaine shakes his head. Burt doesn't know, doesn't need to know, to what lengths he went to get Kurt to forgive him. But sometimes it still seems like a miracle.

“There. You will always face obstacles, even, you know, when you're married. Your problems don't magically disappear with a marriage certificate. But you will work it out, like you did before. It's gonna be okay.”

He stands up and turns to go, but Blaine calls him back. “How do you know that, though?”

“When two people love each other, like you two do...everything works out.”

 

He leaves Blaine with a lot to think about. He doesn't necessarily agree with everything Burt said. Everything doesn't work out just because two people love each other. He has loved Kurt.... _before_ , and he has still cheated on him, hurt him so badly he felt he had to break up. And if it means everything will work out in the end—well, he has no desire to wait until the end, nor to go through anything like this again.

Still. That won't change when they're married, he knows that. He isn't naive enough to think that all their problems will magically disappear because they're married.

Except maybe that's exactly what he has been thinking.

Because they do still have problems, even though they're happy and love each other. He lies awake at night wondering how it will be when they are in New York together, living together. It's not just happy images of serving Kurt breakfast in bed and falling asleep cuddled up next to him at night. What keeps him awake are mainly the questions that won't go away: Kurt has a life in New York, a life without him. He has had a whole year that seems much longer than that to find his place and make friends. How will Blaine fit into that? Is there even room for him?

He knows he should talk to Kurt about this. Let himself be reassured, if nothing else...although, Blaine had worried about Kurt being in New York in the first place, and had let himself be reassured. And then things had come exactly as he had feared, and Kurt hadn't seemed to see, or to care, and Blaine had reacted in the worst possible way...

It won't be like that again. They need to talk, really talk, about this. It's just, when he sees Kurt's face on the computer screen, it's so easy to let himself be distracted by other things.

But Kurt will be here soon. Burt has a really important doctor's appointment that Blaine knows about because Burt has kept his promise about keeping him up to date, and Blaine has tried to keep his promise about looking after him. Kurt will be here for that. And maybe then, they'll have time. To talk, and...other things.

* * *

 

Kurt feels like he might go crazy. Nothing seems to be able to calm him down, and he falls into habits he has never ever practiced before. Choosing his clothes for luck instead of style, counting everything. He almost stepped into a puddle while trying to avoid passing under a ladder, and every scrap of paper is in imminent danger of being ripped to shreds.

He would be worried, if his mind weren't so full worrying about other things.

Once he's in Lima, it gets a little bit better. His dad looks good; it's unimaginable there should be a deadly disease inside him.

He should, however, have not gone to visit McKinley before the doctor's appointment, or even, he thinks, seen Blaine. Glee club is too....normal, makes it too clear to him that the world will go on even if his own should be shattered tomorrow. And Blaine...Blaine understands what he's going through and tries to distract him, and takes his hand and holds it when he gets fidgety, and offers all the support he could wish for.

He is also very obviously distracted by other things, things they might have talked about in detail on Skype the day before yesterday. Things Kurt had shortsightedly promised to do to Blaine, even though he should have known he'd be much too worried to get even somewhere near the mood he'd need to be in to fulfill his promise. Blaine doesn't seems to understand he's definitely not in the mood now, if the way he tells him he looks “dirty cute” is any indication. To be fair, the light-blue jeans he has worn for good luck are super tight and make his ass look fantastic, but still....Not the time, Blaine. Not the time.

Well, Blaine will have to content himself with a goodnight kiss for now, and tomorrow things might look very differently.

He spends the night mostly tossing and turning in his old bed in his old room, and rises before his alarm, groggy and low-key terrified. He rushes through his skin care routine and immediately regrets it when afterwards, he paces his room with nothing to do because the rest of the house is still asleep.

At breakfast, all of them are tense and silent and occupied with their own thoughts. Kurt keeps sneaking looks at his dad at his usual place across the table and can't help but wonder if soon, there will be a day when his dad isn't sitting there anymore. If he will be too weak to sit at the table with them, too nauseous to feel like eating. If one day, he won't be there at all.

He pushes his plate away at the thought.

Then they're at the doctor's office, finally, waiting while his dad gets examined and then again waiting for the verdict. He freaks out a little at his dad wearing dark blue, because dark blue is close to black, and black is....A part of his brain screams at him, Do you hear yourself? Since when are you so superstitious? do you honestly believe the color of his shirt will have any influence on his health?

But he can't help it. And when Burt stops being cool and allows a glimpse of how scared he is himself, Kurt has to fight to keep down the panic. He sees his dad and Carole squeeze each others' hands so hard they will certainly hurt tomorrow. Then he does long for Blaine to be here after all, so he can have a hand to squeeze as well.

Instead, he takes his dad's hand and squeezes just once, softly, meant as an apology and an assurance that no more freakouts will happen.

When finally the doctor comes and tells them that the cancer is in remission, that in fact, Burt is practically cured, it seems unreal at first. He has stressed and obsessed so much that good news seem inappropriate, somehow. When he finally realizes what it means, what he feels is less joy and more a bone-deep relief. His father won't be taken from him, he won't leave him. They'll still have time.

It calls for a serenade, and the joy sets in when he sings “You are the Sunshine of my Life” for him in Glee club with everyone watching.

Afterwards, Burt and Carole go on a date to celebrate, and Kurt gets to be finally alone with Blaine—and in the mood, no less.

He's in a...peculiar mood, to be honest. He is happy, more than happy, but there is so much pent-up energy in him that he feels he might explode. It's from the stress of the last few weeks, he knows, but now he needs something to help him let go of that. It's a good thing Blaine is right there, holding his hand and every now and then stroking his thumb over Kurt's knuckles. Looking at him from the side with a little smile of which Kurt knows exactly what it means.

“Your parents aren't at home, are they?” he asks when they are in the driveway of Blaine's house. It's the first time he thinks of it, and the thought that they are, that he might be forced to sit at a table and make polite conversation unless they manage to sneak directly into Blaine's room, is just absurd. It's not possible, not when he's feeling like this.

“No, they're out,” Blaine says a little breathlessly, and his smile grows a little bigger when Kurt puts a hand on his thigh, close to the cage. He imagines Blaine's cock twitching, and feels his own do the same.

“Let's go inside,” he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the long wait. I also hope the end isn't too cliffhanger -ish? If it is, I apologize. It's just this chapter didn't want to be written, and I had to make a cut somewhere. I will try to have the next chapter up sooner.


	7. Chapter 7

As soon as the door is closed behind them, he presses Blaine against it, kissing him soundly and thoroughly. It doesn't take much for him to get fully hard, not with the bit of teasing he has done in the car and all the fantasies they talked about that they will now, finally, have time and opportunity to try out.

“I've missed you,” Blaine whispers against his lips, sounding breathless already. Kurt has to grin. Already, and they haven't even started. He can't wait to see how Blaine will look and sound later on.

“I've missed you too,” he replies and lets go of Blaine, only to take his hand and start to drag him upstairs in the direction of his room and his bed, that he knows Blaine has made up with fresh sheets like he always does.

He has missed him. They've gotten better with staying in contact, Skyping nearly every day, short talks on the phone and texts throughout the day, but it's nothing like being finally together again. Teasing each other and sharing fantasies is a lot better than Kurt expected, now that he's finally managing it without blushing most of the time, but holding Blaine in his arms, kissing him and actually—hopefully—act on the fantasies is like nothing else.

They might have to do it more than once, he thinks. He wants too much to fit it all into one time, especially since his plans include Blaine not coming at all at first, and later coming only after a whole lot of teasing. Kurt will have to let him come once in between, or he'll never last.

He grins at himself. Thinking so....nonchalantly about letting Blaine come, like it's his decision when and whether he does. Which it is. He was scared at first, but now it excites him like nothing else. Having that kind of power over Blaine. Being trusted so much.

“What is it?” Blaine asks in the doorway to his room when Kurt stops walking. Kurt looks at the pristinely made bed, the sheets arranged with almost military precision, and tries to imagine how it will look after they're done.

“I can't decide what to do with you,” he says and grins a little at Blaine's expression of soft disappointment.

“I thought we were,” Blaine says. “You know, I thought you were going to...fuck me while I'm wearing the cage.” He only hesitates for a second there, and Kurt marvels at how far they've come at saying what they want—at least when in comes to this.

“Oh, I am,” he says. “But there's so much more I want to do, and I'm trying to figure out the right order.”

Blaine swallows at that, and gives his hand a little tug. “We'd better start soon, then.”

* * *

 

How had he ever thought that was a good idea? On his hands and knees on the bed, Kurt behind him, Blaine begins to regret ever having thought of that. It's a position he usually loves—Kurt is really good at hitting his prostate, and Blaine loves the way Kurt holds him upright and sometimes kisses or bites his back or his neck. He still does that; in fact, he hits Blaine's prostate far too often, and Blaine's caged cock is leaking a steady stream of precum on the sheets. It feels wonderful and cruel, taking him as close to orgasm as he knows he will ever get, while his cock slowly starts to hurt because it's pressing against the bars so much.

But that isn't what makes him regret this decision. He has enough experience with that thing by now he knows what to expect in that regard. And, let's be honest, secretly he loves it, the feeling of anticipation that he knows will be disappointed. The pressure mounting inside him without finding release.

All of that hasn't changed. But still he hates what they're doing now—feeling Kurt fuck him from behind, racing towards completion without Blaine sharing the experience, he feels disconnected from the whole act, from Kurt. It's nothing they're sharing now, it's something that is being done to him, and he finds he doesn't like it.

He won't say anything, though. He'd feel stupid now, the whole thing being his idea in the first place, and anyway, it won't last too long. It doesn't feel terrible, it's mostly in his head, and they just needn't do it again. For now, it's okay.

Suddenly, though, Kurt stills in him, and then slowly pulls out.

“Turn around,” he whispers, “I want -”

Blaine turns around to lie on his back, and a cushion is pushed under his hips, and Kurt stares at him for a moment, at his cock that is straining against the cage and his hole that is loose and fluttering now that it's empty.

“I want to see you,” Kurt says, and kisses him, his hands roaming over Blaine's body. Blaine moans, clutching Kurt's shoulders, and relaxing into his touch. He's back with him, they're together again, and so he lets Kurt enter him again, cock slick with new lube.

It's different now. The feelings are the same, although, mercifully, Kurt doesn't find his prostate quite that often. But now he can cling to him, can feel his body, and most importantly, he can see him. He can see Kurt's face, and thinks, I'm doing that. I'm giving so much pleasure to Kurt. He focuses on that, on Kurt, on what fucking Blaine does to him. Dimly, he is aware that he is clutching Kurt's upper arms, digging his fingers in so hard there will probably be bruising. His breath comes in short, broken gasps, and he is sobbing at intervals, and when he isn't, he is biting his lower lip so hard he tastes blood. But that's not important. What's important is that Kurt is speeding up, that there's a faint sheen of sweat on his upper lip, and that he's making the most delicious sounds. He is going to come soon, and Blaine wants him to, _needs_ him to.

But then Kurt is slowing down again, breathing harshly as if trying to control himself. Blaine doesn't want him to control himself. He wants him to let loose, to fuck him like he needs to, to come. He makes a noise of protest that, embarrassingly, sounds more like a whine than anything else.

He regrets it as soon as it comes out because it makes Kurt still inside him again. He looks at him, his eyes concerned.

“What is it? Is it too much? Am I hurting you?”

Blaine loves and hates that Kurt checks in on him. He loves it because it makes him feel cared for and shows him that even now, Kurt puts Blaine's well-being over everything else. And he hates it because—well, because he wants Kurt to come, and also because he doesn't want to be checked in on. He just wants to give Kurt pleasure, without...without concern for his own. That's why they're doing this, after all. He wants Kurt to use him for his pleasure. Sometimes. When they're like this. Maybe.

In a very, very small corner of his brain he is able to admit that, and also that maybe, in that mindset, they should try the other position again some time.

He smiles at Kurt and cranes his neck to kiss him. “I'm fine. It's a lot, but not too much. Keep going. And - “

“And what?”

“Don't stop. Please.”

Kurt looks at him and starts moving, and he doesn't stop.

* * *

 

  “Do you want me to -”, Kurt asks later, gesturing. “You know, free you? Get you off?”

Blaine must be beyond frustration now; at least, Kurt would be in his place. Although, Blaine doesn't look frustrated. He looks like Kurt feels, boneless and sated and uninclined to move for at least a few hours. The only difference is his cock: Kurt's own is lying lazily on his thigh as he moves on to his side to look at Blaine, and it is equally uninclined to move as Kurt himself. Blaine's, in contrast, is still an angry red, pressing against the bars of the cage. It looks painful. It also looks delectable, and Kurt would very much like to get his hands on it. Or his mouth. But to his surprise, Blaine shakes his head.

* * *

 

 Blaine can't remember making a conscious decision to not get off now. An orgasm right now would be the greatest thing in the world, surpassed only, maybe, by the feeling of being freed from his cage, from the bars that dig into his flesh and prevent any of its valiant efforts to rise to its full potential. But he doesn't want to, not yet. He wants to lie here, beside Kurt, frustrated and yet sated because he had given Kurt such pleasure. When Kurt came, it almost felt like he had too; he had had to sneak a glance at his cock to see for himself it was still hard.

“Not yet,” he says. “I just want to enjoy the feeling a little more.”

Kurt gives him a look but nods; it's true, though. Weirdly, and though it's frustrating as hell, he enjoys the feeling.

He dozes for a time, curled against Kurt, and wakes only when the air gets cold against his naked skin. Kurt is still asleep, or is at least lying there with his eyes closed. Blaine just looks at him for a little while. He's beautiful, looking so relaxed and content.

“Don't watch me sleep, Blaine. It's creepy,” Kurt murmurs, still with his eyes closed, and Blaine grins.

“It's not creepy when you're not asleep, clearly,” he says, then hesitates. They should talk now, maybe. He doesn't want to spoil their day, but he knows he shouldn't wait too long. They don't let him rest for long, the doubts he has about joining Kurt in New York, if his plans for the future match with Kurt's. His cock has deflated a little during his nap; he can wait. It's time.

“Kurt?” he asks, waiting for Kurt's soft, sleepy “Hmm?” to continue. “What happens when I graduate?”

Kurt sits up a little and finally opens his eyes. He looks confused. “I thought you were going to NYADA?” he says.

“I am, if They'll accept me.”

“They'll accept you. I've been talking about you -”

“Kurt. I mean what happens with us. We've found a rhythm now that works, somehow, with us being apart most of the time. But when I'm in New York it won't be like that anymore.”

“I know,” Kurt says. “I'm looking forward to that so much, you have no idea.”

That makes Blaine smile. “Me too. But I'm scared. I don't want us to screw up again because we have different expectations of what will happen. What I want to know is...have you imagined, what you want it to be like when I'm there?”

Kurt nods, smiling. “Of course I have! Though I confess a lot of it is rather vague and focused on...bed activities. Which...I know that we'll have to do other things as well. But...I want...I hope you'll move in with us, and sleep in my bed, and then we'll do all kind of things to get back at Rachel for what she subjected me to while she was with Brody.”

Blaine laughs. “So you want me only for my body.”

Kurt nods. “For that, and for the sounds you make when I do that -”

He pinches Blaine's nipple, and Blaine hisses through his teeth.

“Or that...”

Kurt's hand trails down to Blaine's cock, and he briefly presses a fingertip into the slit. Blaine's barely deflated cock takes definite interest, and Blaine moans and then laughs as he finds he's proving Kurt's point. He closes his eyes and moans again as Kurt touches what he can through the bars of the cage. His anxiety isn't completely gone, but he decides more talking can wait until after round two. And this time, he decides, he wants to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From now on, this story will deviate from canon. It might pick up canon events now and then, but for example, I will not write Finn's death, and since Blaine has decided not to propose, there will of course be no proposal.


End file.
